Jorge asked me to go to the Hamptons to visit a friend from college. Now, first of all Jorge told me he had two degrees ...one on culinary arts and one in business management. I would later find out he had an associates degree in culinary arts which is just fine, there was no reason to make up sh*t. I was soooo nervous to go away with him ....especially to the Hamptons. I had no idea to what to expect. I was freaking out. I didn't know what I supposed to wear or who would be there. I had to go shopping and get new clothes and I remember I drove my mother crazy. I was so scared that I was going to look like an idiot.
The weekend went sort of like this: there were 2 other couples and 1 single guy. Jorge barely spoke to me .... it was so uncomfortable. I have no idea why he even took me. On top that we thought we were staying 2 nights ....I had taken a day off from work and we only stayed one night because Jorge got the info wrong. So, we come back from the trip and I have the entire day off so I think we could spend it togegther and the jerk said he was going do work from home. I was so dissapointed. I couldn't figure him out. I ended up spending the day eating chinese food and watching movies.
After this trip, I thought he must be serious about me to take me to meet his friends I had also met his sisters. Well, after that he basically stopped calling me. I
I was crushed. I got him on the phone and he said he wasn't ready for something serious. I thought that was it, but it wasn't.

So, I started seeing him out on the weekends and then we finally made a (semi) date. We met each other and spent the evening together at a couple of bars. We had a good time and ended up making out at the beach which I found was near his house. Well, now I knew I really wanted him. We continued to talk once in awhile on the phone and I pretty much knew I would see him on the weekend at our favorite bar (turns out my favorite was his too). Then, he asked me to go away with him for the weekend. We weren't boyfriend and girlfriend but as far as I knew neither of us were seeing anyone. So, before I made my final decision he told me he needed to tell me something and that he wanted to tell me on the trip. Then when I said "yes" I would go, he told me right then and there. He had a son. He had a less than 1 year old son. Hmmmmm ..... so where is the mother? Well, I soon would find out ......

I met Jorge at my favorite restaurant / bar (well at the time it was) when I was 21-22 years old. We bumped into each other and kinda flirted with one another. I remember his bad pick up line that I fell for ..."How many drinks do I have to buy you to take you home?" How horrible. I laughed it off not thinking much of it ... and willing to get the free drink. We chatted and he gave me his number. I left it at the bar. A couple weeks later I was enjoying a drink and conversation at the same location -- I can 't remember who I was with. I got up from the table and there he was. The entire time I was sitting there he was at the table behind me. Well, he was happy to see me and I guess I was a little surprised to see him again.

I was never attracted to him in the beginning ....but he had this confidence about him that made him attractive. That night we talked more and I decided to take his number (again). He told me he had a convertable and a condo on the beach. It seemed exciting to me to meet a guy who had some security. Well, as time went on that wasn't all he had ......

I needed to create this blog because I have these overwhelming feelings about someone and I have no one to talk to about them. There are many reasons why 1. I am still in love with him 2. I shouldn't be in love with him. 3. I can't tell anybody 4. He will never know my feelings and 5. He will never speak to me again.

When I fell in love with him, I had never felt more alive! I was so excited to wake up in the morning. I was even excited to go to work. Every weekend was an adventure for me. I had these feeling before we were officially together as a couple.

I will, day to day, try to recreate the events that lead me to where I am today. I swear I dream about him all the time. I dream I am waiting for his call or I am waiting to meet him. I need to get this out of my system. I have a boyfriend ... for 2 years I have had a boyfriend. I haven't been with this man in 3 years! I am not looking for help, I just need to get this out. I know he will never come back to me .... but I can dream that he will!